如果一个人的初恋沉闷且冗长，不知算不算很奇怪。高三的时候，别人还都忙得昏天黑日，我父母就早早地替我办全了出国手续，只等我领到毕业证就可以去到美利坚了。我们班上有个男生人称大P的特能说，一般播音时间是早自习体育快递课间插播时政要闻午间休评书连播晚自习CLASSICAL MUSIC，可每次考试他总有本事晃晃悠悠蹭到前几名。
班主任拿他没办法只好让他在最后一排和我这个逍遥人一起任逍遥。那时候大P又黑又瘦面目狰狞读英文像《狮子王》里的土狼背古诗像刚中了举的范进，真的，后来我们逛动物园猴子见了他都吱吱乱跑，他倒来劲了，拍我的头冲猴儿们介绍：THIS IS MY pet！我也没含糊，告诉他：别喊了，看你的二大妈们都被你吓跑了。这是后话。
刚和我一桌的时候，有天晚自习他大唱《我的太阳》我在一旁偷着喝可乐，唱到高音时他突然转头问了一句嗓子怎么样，我嘴里含着水差点全喷了，气得我重捶了他好几下。他却跟没事人似的，说我打人的姿势不对所以不够狠。我叫他教我，他到挺认真，还叫我拿他开练。
第二天上学见着我，他头一句就是：十三妹，你昨儿你打那几拳都紫啦。边说还边捋袖子叫我看。后来，我想，这段感情大概就是从这儿开始的吧。大P一直叫做十三妹。我跟他的交情，在相互抵毁和自夸主题下愈加巩固。他生活在一个嘈杂的世界里，都要发出各种各样的声响来引起别人的注意，就好像这样就能证明自己什么似的。
常常是我替答题，他趴着睡觉；吃饭，我吃瘦肉，他吃肥肉，因为他们需要营养；打架，他们都不管输赢，我统统拍手称快；放学，我们走在楼道里，还要大呼小 叫地互相嘲笑一番。我们像哥们儿似的横行高三年级，要多默契有多默契。
I heard a saying, every person is a segment of an arc, the two people who can just form a complete circle are meant to be together. At that time, I believed this phrase deeply. The more I felt that my essence was identical to big P's - simple and direct, without any evasion. I was confident that I understood him better than anyone else because he was essentially myself.
There were times when I told big P: "It feels like we've been in high school for eternity." He didn't respond with his usual teasing but instead said: "Don't get too full of yourself; it's possible we'll both end up back here." This is the last thing he ever said to me.
That year after graduation, big P entered Peking University while I moved to Los Angeles. A blast at the Chinese restaurant next door left half our wall gone. We had to move again; it took me a year on hiatus before sending big P an email with only three words: "Moved away," no telling him my new address or phone number.
My neighbor couple, both deaf-mute, tended the best vegetable garden in our street; they often brought fresh produce over for us to enjoy. They communicated through hand gestures; watching them made me think of big P and feel pain inside.
I bought a book and spent an autumn learning sign language myself. Gradually entering this world without sound... They couldn't hear anything except relying on their intense gaze to sense each other's presence - so peaceful yet so contained - something big P could never understand.
While idling by my computer one afternoon repeating those words: Don't cry don't cry... nothing bad about it... tears stopped flowing as dinner approached. My parents grew accustomed to my absent-mindedness and asked no questions later on...
And then there would be springtime later on still being old self-only now proficient in sign language-big-P under my guidance already achieved initial success-I thought if he were happy then so should I-being his buddy wasn’t bad either.
The New York Philharmonic came for performance; secretly bringing along small recording device giving live CLASSICAL MUSIC version for Big-P-but Big-P griped about missing part-one-the first disc recorded all finished already-while he debated during finals everyone clapped laughed-and knew how well-he did know...
Returning home June saw Agitation contest final-Big-P winning—my return undetected sneaking into venue unseen seen another girl approaching smiling towards Big-P—and at once knew what needed-a cold splash-watering down his pride-this not important anymore...
Back in America emails from Big-P-two envelopes-thanks thirteen sister same look as you-no reply though—then second mail-said girlfriend good but gap between them-feeling why ours straight forward?
In response typed out message-told him actually you're half circle missing only we could make whole-circle-but stored unsent-not told Big-P new address-or numbers-getting signatures easily-backing parents earning money-watching performances-recording till end-unnoticed returning Beijing—
Silently giving up half-circle-my hearing loss permanent since explosion...